Wednesday, April 1, 2009


It’s allergy season. My eyes hurt and my nose has been running non stop. On top of that i have been feeling soo sleepy. Yesterday i took five 2 hour naps, literally! I’m trying to do things just to keep myself from sleeping the whole day because too much sleep is just unhealthy. The fact that today is just a dark and rainy day and that i’m home alone is definitely not helping. Let’s just say that this week hasn’t really been a good week for me either.

The main reason why i posted that poem the other day was because i was feeling that way. I’ve been feeling so lonely lately and the funny part about it is that i know i’m not lonely. I have my family but i just feel like that isn’t enough. I’m longing for something, what that something is i may never know. I can feel it in my heart, this loneliness, it never leaves. No matter how much i try to ignore it or just act like it’s not a real feeling it just doesn’t work. It never goes away, sure there may be times when it leaves me alone for a little while but it always comes back to haunt me. I don’t get depressed or anything it’s just a feeling. I know this because i’ve had depression before, i know how it feels. When i went through depression i had no appetite, i had no will power to do anything and i lost soo much weight. I looked so much better and healthier even though it wasn’t healthy. Depression just isn’t a nice thing and i hope i never go through it again.

cam This is the song currently on repeat on my ipod. I don’t know why i like this song so much but it’s just so peaceful. It puts me in a really good mood. Haha i had to take like a 10 minute pause just to sing along with the song about like 5 times lol. I think i feel awake now just because of the song. See i told you this song puts me in a good mood haha!

I love how i just completely changed the mood of this post with just one song! I’m such a nerd lol.

I can’t believed i watched for my third time yesterday.. am i crazy or what! I love that movie and i agree with everyone when they say that Robert Pattinson looks HOT in that movie. The vampire thing is kinda sexy! Haha makes me wanna have a vampire boyfriend that looks like him lol or maybe just a white boy that’s like a pretty boy or something. Not even just like a white boy with brown hair and pretty eyes that has like a simple, unique style kind of like “Edward Cullin” in the movie ..if that’s how you spell it. It was just too adorable. I have to get the soundtrack to that movie cause it had some kick ass songs on it. I don’t know what any of them are called though so i guess i’ll look it up.

Okay my eyes are hurting from the screen cause my charger is plugged in so i’m just gonna leave it at that.

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