tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33405982257888999822024-03-12T18:04:19.306-07:00Lover of LifeHappiness isn't a destination, it's a choice.Kiki mami x3http://www.blogger.com/profile/09331275594376469709noreply@blogger.comBlogger51125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3340598225788899982.post-80672262787680304062010-03-27T16:40:00.000-07:002010-03-28T08:11:45.462-07:00Ninja Assassin<img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_vC7rHR9oCKU/SBViuZXnSoI/AAAAAAAADyU/mJ3O-WAGtUE/s400/Rain+in+LA3.jpg" /><br />
<div>Just got finished watching this movie and I must say that it was pretty awesome! I want to marry him. </div>Kiki mami x3http://www.blogger.com/profile/09331275594376469709noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3340598225788899982.post-54020814800618015202010-03-27T08:20:00.000-07:002010-03-28T08:09:18.262-07:00I'm alive and different!My first post in almost a year. Yup, It's 2010, Graduation Year! I'm so happy about that. These past few years definitely haven't been a walk in the park to be honest. I am finally 18 years old and even though I didn't think it was possible, I've grown so much! I am so much smarter and wiser than I was a year ago and if you go back and read all of my old posts you can definitely see the difference in my writing. I've learned so much about life and so many things have changed. I'm so much closer to my family than I was before and there is no more arguing or being mad over things that don't even make sense anymore. I'm truly happy this year, everything is going right for me. I'm not going to get into too much detail in this post, I'll leave that for later.<br />
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This time around my blog is going to go through some changes. A few things will be different. I'm not going to use it JUST to share my thoughts about my life, I feel like it's being a little selfish. I want to share with you my thoughts on some things that are going on in this world right now. I want to give a closer look into my life, share with you my style. Maybe make some videos and share them with you. I want to show you the things I love and also the things I hate. I want this blog to reach out to other people and maybe make some great friends during the process. I want to make it more interesting because as of now this blog was so boring that I even bored myself with it. Haha, but in all seriousness I want to use this blog to connect with people and share things with them. I'm not sure how good it will be but it's a start.Kiki mami x3http://www.blogger.com/profile/09331275594376469709noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3340598225788899982.post-21122096013941826582009-08-26T09:10:00.000-07:002010-03-27T07:25:06.625-07:00Old Post from here on out.Okay i don’t really use this blog anymore but i just really need to vent. I’m just soo angry at the fact that you can live with someone in a house and they can just be a complete stranger to you. I just really don’t know. Yeah you may pay the larger bills (not all of them) but that’s all you do. You have a family living in this house that you do not support WHAT SO EVER! How can you sit there and demand food, drinks, soap, toothpaste etc. when you don’t even BUY IT! How dare you act like you have no cares in the world. How in the hell is it that you don’t buy anything in the house and STILL expect to eat breakfast, lunch, AND dinner! You get paid a large amount of money EVERY week yet you’re “BROKE”! WHAT THE HELL! Do you honestly think that we are DUMB! My mom only works weekends, gets paid once every two weeks and makes only a small portion that you make. She buys EVERYTHING and still has money and YOU always claim to be broke. We know you give your grown ass children money behind our back. Grown ass children who have their own family and their OWN CHILDREN AND SHOULD NOT BE NEEDING SUPPORT BECAUSE THEY ARE ALMOST IN THEIR FUCKING 30’s!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<br />
UGH! it’s more complicated than that but i just can’t even begin to explain.Kiki mami x3http://www.blogger.com/profile/09331275594376469709noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3340598225788899982.post-10629356343298016042009-05-08T22:42:00.001-07:002009-05-08T22:42:27.045-07:00I’m a hazard to myself.<p>Once again loneliness is trying to get the best of me and i’m not going to let it. This seems to always happen, i’ve been single for almost a year and loved it then little by little i despise it with every fiber of my being. The feeling comes like clock work and i hate it. It’s not like i’m desperate and can’t control my emotions cause i can, but you just see all the cute couples in the mall or at restaurants and they look so adorable and you just want to share moments like that with someone but you have no one. It’s not like i always want to have a boyfriend or a date and can’t live without them. You just have those moments sometimes where you feel like you want to talk or spend time with someone in a more than friendship kind of way if that makes any sense.. I always see girls with guys they don’t even appreciate or deserve. Guys that are always good to them and are with them no matter what and i wonder. Why do guys go for those type of girls. Yeah, maybe they’re extremely pretty and have the best figure you’ve ever seen but most of them walk with their nose in the air and they’re just completely materialistic. Me, i’m just a simple girl. Yeah i like to go shopping and be a little materialistic once in a while but most of the time i’m not into that stuff. I honestly would rather have a picnic or spend the day at the beach watching the sunset rather than going to some fancy expensive restaurant that doesn’t even serve you a whole plate of food. I’d choose a romantic day out over a gift on my birthday ANYDAY! But where are the guys that are into that kind of stuff. I like acting silly and goofy (not immature) chillin’ in the house and just relax. It doesn’t always have to be serious and we don’t always have to go out. It should JUST be a relationship, it should be a friendship too and i’m all about that. I’m the type of girl that plays video games and play fights for fun. Unfortunately because i’m not skinnier than a pole i get overlooked. </p> <p>I’m tired of all that. I want to be in a relationship because a person like me for who i am inside AND out. Not just because they want to hit it or whatever. <strong>WHERE ARE THESE KIND OF GUYS HIDING?!</strong></p> <p>So many people claim to be real and aren’t and i just wonder these days..</p> <p> </p> <p>I had some other stuff to say but i forgot so blah.. nothing new or interesting has happened anyway..</p> <p>Oh, my brother’s prom is next week and i’m soo excited! </p> <p>:|</p> Kiki mami x3http://www.blogger.com/profile/09331275594376469709noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3340598225788899982.post-75363315890998422782009-05-04T19:17:00.001-07:002009-05-04T19:17:29.664-07:00Cause i’m dreaming of you tonight.<p>I had the weirdest dream last night that i had a boyfriend and we were just making out. I’ve had dreams about having boyfriends before but they weren’t like that. It kinda made me miss having a boyfriend and being able to spend time with that “special someone” and having someone tell you they care about you. (and mean it) Sometimes you just want someone to wrap you in their arms and you feel safe even if it’s just for that moment. Hmm, i don’t know i have times where i’m just like heck no i don’t what a boyfriend ever but then i have my moments where i’m just kinda lonely and i just want to have someone of the opposite sex to talk to because talking to “girl friends” just isn’t the same as talking to someone who you’re with or thinking about going out with. </p> <p>CONFESSION: I like guys.. (well duh) i’m a huge flirt, but not in that slutty way. I just like talking to guys in general even if it’s just as friends because i think i have more in common with guys then i do with my girl friends cause they aren’t into the types of things that i’m into so yeah..</p> <p>Anyways i was practicing the guitar today and i’ve been hearing this vibrating when i play the guitar. I think the strings are loose or something and it’s just annoying when i’m trying to practice and i don’t know how to get rid of it so i barely got to practice today. I don’t know how i’m supposed to practice if it doesn’t sound right. Grrr! Oh well i’ll fix it eventually. </p> <p>Blah i need to find some new people to talk to because i don’t talk to the people i know that much anymore. Eh, i don’t know i guess you just talk to people so much that you just have nothing else to discuss. Oh well..</p> Kiki mami x3http://www.blogger.com/profile/09331275594376469709noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3340598225788899982.post-22707060816005936572009-05-01T20:29:00.001-07:002009-05-01T20:29:23.842-07:00Typical Day<p>Today was more of a relax do whatever i felt like doing type of day. I was struggling trying to figure out what i wanted to do with my blog and how i wanted and i ended up changing the layout yet again! I’m never satisfied with having a layout for more than a week unless i really really like it and i haven’t really been liking it so blah. I’m probably going to stick with this one though just change it a few times to my liking. </p> <p>Today was my dad’s first day at work again so the house was nice and quiet! lol We all needed a break from him, don’t get me wrong i love my dad but i just can’t be around him to long cause then it just gets to be too much. I think being in the house too long drives him crazy and then he drives US crazy. </p> <p>I haven’t had much to write about lately. I’ve been pretty busy but it’s nothing interesting that i really would want to write about in here. Oh yeahh, i haven’t really been practicing the guitar lately because i haven’t had the time to but i’m going to have time tomorrow so i’m gonna make sure i learn at least one chord and hopefully my guitar is still tuned since my strings were new and unused they keep un-tuning themselves. I can’t wait till i can play tunes so i can make my own songs then i won’t have to worry about un-godly music and what not.. but i’m not going to get into this topic right now. Next time..</p> Kiki mami x3http://www.blogger.com/profile/09331275594376469709noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3340598225788899982.post-55817640879733878982009-05-01T13:27:00.001-07:002009-05-01T13:27:42.058-07:00HURRAY!<p>I’ve decided not to migrate to wordpress for now i guess. It’s just wayy too much work and confusion and they still don’t have any good layouts that satisfy me so blah. I’m staying or blogger for a long while i guess. It isn’t horrible just sometimes majorly annoying but i’ll deal.</p> Kiki mami x3http://www.blogger.com/profile/09331275594376469709noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3340598225788899982.post-16816252052619935722009-05-01T12:05:00.001-07:002009-05-01T12:05:30.054-07:00I always change my mind..<p>I’m thinking about changing my blog back to wordpress. Not really sure if i want to because i wouldn’t be able to customize it like i do with this blog BUT wordpress is more like a little webpage and i could do more with that so idk i’m debating on it. If there is a way to get around having to pay to add css on it would lovee to ifind it cause i’m in no position to pay for stuff right now but ugh.. I don’t know i’ll just have to make a new one and see how it looks then i’ll make my decision.</p> Kiki mami x3http://www.blogger.com/profile/09331275594376469709noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3340598225788899982.post-82803093250791707152009-04-30T15:24:00.001-07:002009-04-30T15:24:50.021-07:00Help meee!<p>I’ve been trying to edit my blog for like three or four days trying different backgrounds and what no and none of them look good. I’m definitely terrible at being creative when it comes to my blog. I’ll have to get some ideas off the internet somewhere. </p> <p>Ps. we were playing with the dogs today. I wish i would have been able to take pictures but my lazy self didn’t feel like running upstairs to get my camera. Cindy definitely did not wanna go back inside. When we tried to push her in she just laid flat on the ground and made herself into a rag doll. We grabbed her legs and try to carry her and she was STILL LIMP lmao! I don’t care want anyone says just cause they’re animals doesn’t mean they’re stupid.</p> Kiki mami x3http://www.blogger.com/profile/09331275594376469709noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3340598225788899982.post-13362998056845010202009-04-29T04:32:00.000-07:002009-04-29T04:34:14.929-07:00Such an effing turn off!<p>I was texting this guy last night out of complete boredom and we’re just going back and forth like whatever he seemed okay. I was starting to get tired so i ended up falling asleep on our conversation or whatever you want to call it. I JUST remembered that i was talking to him so i checked to see if i got a new text and read it and it said “are you still woke” ..WTF! Sorry, but to me that is one of the most unattractive things like ever. This dude is supposed to be 19.. i mean what the hell were you doing in school while the rest of the class was learning past, present and future tense? I know i don’t talk perfectly and maybe i have a little accent or i talk a little slang-ish but i do know and speak proper english. Obviously he isn’t on planning on going to college and if he is (i never got to ask) i hope the word awake or in his vocabulary “woke” doesn’t show up in any of his essays or term papers or whatever. </p> <p>Maybe i’m over-reacting or making this into a big deal when it’s not but i don’t think all of the improper ghetto-ish talk is attractive but girls around here do. I even know someone who talk improper on purpose because they think it’s cute.. they have major problems.</p> Kiki mami x3http://www.blogger.com/profile/09331275594376469709noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3340598225788899982.post-45100289985910556402009-04-27T22:24:00.000-07:002009-04-27T22:25:01.996-07:00:[<p>Tonight is one of those nights where i wish that i had a boyfriend.. Someone that i could spend time with and talk to when i’m feeling lonely..</p> Kiki mami x3http://www.blogger.com/profile/09331275594376469709noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3340598225788899982.post-38146064301526430262009-04-27T12:27:00.000-07:002009-04-27T12:28:21.815-07:00Not what i expected.<p>I’m so freaking mad right now. I gave my dog a bath yesterday and not only him but our two other dogs as huge and fat as they are and i was tired after that. Today i just wanted to relax and enjoy the weather and stay cool inside the house. No, i couldn’t do that at all i had to hurry up and get dressed after i had just woke up. I had to get insulted and yelled at because i didn’t get ready in five minutes like my dad wanted me too, excuse me for being a girl and having to do my hair cause it was a mess. Then we had to pick this freaking heavy ass wheelchair and put it in his truck because he didn’t want to use the van. So we had to break our back to pick it up while he was there looking pretty because we had to use more force than he did. After all that crap he couldn’t even buy us water ice because it was so effing hot! We could have just stayed in the house and be cool cause it wasn’t our responsibility to take that chair over to the store to sell it in the first place. UGHHHHH. i was soo mad!</p> <p><img title="chico" style="border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-left: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-bottom: 0px" height="331" alt="chico" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_oP5TdU9ex8o/SfYHUl4htMI/AAAAAAAAADs/IqnJilWPBc0/chico%5B9%5D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="278" border="0" /> </p> <p align="center">A picture of my precious doggie.</p> Kiki mami x3http://www.blogger.com/profile/09331275594376469709noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3340598225788899982.post-43705250697092984432009-04-26T21:55:00.001-07:002009-04-26T21:55:46.903-07:00youtube!<p>I decided to make another youtube account so that i would get motivated to post videos and ish on here and on myspace or wherever else i feel like posting them. I’m in love with the cute little screen name i came up with so i’ve decided to change the name of my blog to it. Plus i don’t really feel like the old title goes with me or my personality anymore since i feel like i’m finding out who i am more and more everyday. pinkyystatus! It was completely random and i came up with it out of the blue haha but it sounds kinda funky, atleast i think so, AND i’m pretty much going to call myself that from now on when i’m not using my actual nickname. Plus, my favorite color is pink so it all works out perfectly. I had pretty much had pinky on my myspace for a little while so pinkyystatus came from that.</p> <p>What sucks is that my channel/page/ profile whatever you want to call it is pretty much bald. I have not friends, of course i’m not gonna have any friends or subscribers cause i just made this new one but i want friends! Haha, i need new friends on myspace too but that’s a different story.</p> <p>Damnit, i just noticed that sometimes when i’m typing really fast and don’t reread what i have already written there is a lot missing. Haha that kind of rhymed. But no i mean like i have a few missing words. I guess i’m just thinking faster than i can type. It’s really annoying though when i go back to it and what i wrote looks like it doesn’t even make sense and i have to fix it. BLAH!</p> Kiki mami x3http://www.blogger.com/profile/09331275594376469709noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3340598225788899982.post-84209559866232794412009-04-26T12:22:00.000-07:002009-04-26T12:23:04.484-07:00Why do our ways have to be so complicated.<p>I was reading somebody’s blog and it was funny cause what they said actually applied to me too. When my brother was in this hospital and i was the only one home during the day my independence kicked and i was the one cooking, cleaning, and doing pretty much everything there was to do in the house. Well, except pay the bills, but i pretty much act like i’m living on my own. When i’m on my own i get things done faster and i’m more productive. I think i do better living on my own rather than living with people. Living with my family, especially when they’re all home i feel like i’m lazy and i get distracted easily. When i was by myself i was waking up really early on my own and when my family is home sometimes i feel like it’s so hard to wake up early. When they’re home i feel like i just need to worry about myself and cleaning my OWN room instead of the house because i don’t make any of the messes. When they’re not home i play independent and when they are i play the daughter. I complicate the hell outta myself sometimes.</p> <p>Anyways, it’s soo hot outside. I’ll probably take a picture later after i give Chico a bath because i know his tummy is upset because of the heat so it’ll make him feel better. This kind of weather makes me miss Puerto Rico beaches. I can’t wait till the day i move to Florida and take Chico with me. I know he’ll love the weather and enjoy the pretty beaches since he’s never really been to one. I know i’m gonna love living on my own, sitting outside sipping on some pina coladas.. haha even though it won’t be like that at all but i like to day dream. I think Chico deserves a vacation just as much as i do.</p> Kiki mami x3http://www.blogger.com/profile/09331275594376469709noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3340598225788899982.post-23059867339214466002009-04-21T18:51:00.000-07:002009-04-21T18:52:12.182-07:00Just some randomness (untitled)<p>Okay so i’m having some kind of a problem, it’s nothing major but it is a problem to me. Actually it’s kind  of stupid when you think about it lol but whatever here it goes. So i used to date this guy.. (more like a little kid by the way he acted) Haha but anyways the beginning was nice and i thought i was in love. (key word thought) It didn’t last long because it didn’t take me long to realize that he was immature and that i definitely wasn’t in love with him at all. I think i was more in love with the idea of him, at that time i was going through so much and i though that having a boyfriend would make me feel better which was definitely the wrong thing. After that whole relationship was over i realized that i was settling for garbage when i deserved so much more. Now, i’m kind of afraid to get into another relationship like that, i just want so much more. So there are times when i’m talking to a guy or looking at one and i’m like eww that guy reminds me of *his name here* by the way he dresses or oh he reminds me of him cause of the way he talks or the way he looks. I don’t know why but i think that relationship was a nightmare and i guess maybe i’m still living in that nightmare or something lol. When i broke up with him i stopped talking to guys altogether. No, i didn’t turn into a lesbian but i realized that i wanted to take a huge break and i guess i’m still on it. It’s funny because i can talk to some guys and maybe we kinda click but when i talk to some other guys i just have nothing to say.I feel like i used to know how to keep a conversation with most guys but now i’m just kinda lost.. I think i’m just not trying to date guys that don’t fit my interest at all and right now i don’t want to be in a relationship. If i were to find someone that i truly click with then i just want to take it slow and really get to know the person this time and even though i have done that many times before i want it to be different.</p> <p>By the way, the host of Tough Love.. i’m not sure what his name is but he’s hott on soo many different levels. His looks are hott, his personality is bomb, and the way he treats women is just perfect. He knows how to treat a lady and knows what it takes to be in a relationship from what i’ve seen. I don’t necessarily want a man like him but i want someone that knows those things and acts in a proper, respectful manner.</p> Kiki mami x3http://www.blogger.com/profile/09331275594376469709noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3340598225788899982.post-17076744475050965622009-04-19T19:55:00.001-07:002009-04-19T19:55:48.375-07:00Yay, i’m learning!<p>haha i think i finally learned how to tune my guitar. Not the greatest accomplishment but it’s definitely a start. I just have to get used to moving my fingers to try and make the different chords, it’s kinda hard to do but i’ll learn. </p> <p>I’m really effing proud of myself. This isn’t something that i want to try and quit, i really want to learn to play the guitar and i’m gonna stick to it until i do.</p> <p>Wish me luck. :p</p> Kiki mami x3http://www.blogger.com/profile/09331275594376469709noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3340598225788899982.post-70373704261123466482009-04-18T09:59:00.001-07:002009-04-18T09:59:57.822-07:00Go ahead and just ruin my day<p>Fuck. I had a busy day yesterday so i just want to relax and enjoy myself but noo that won’t happen because my father’s daughter is coming over.. (No i don’t consider her to be my sister) She doesn’t care about my dad and what happens to him, all  she cares about is how much money he’s going to give her and it’s not right. I don’t really want to get into it though i just wanted to tell somebody but i didn’t have anyone to tell..</p> Kiki mami x3http://www.blogger.com/profile/09331275594376469709noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3340598225788899982.post-39530801030134885912009-04-16T21:12:00.001-07:002009-04-16T21:12:41.059-07:00A few things<p>Okay so tomorrow is my best friends big day. I’m soo excited for her! I know that she’s going to look pretty. I’m just a little bit jealous because i know that i’m never going to have a prom.. BUT that’s okay because it’s what i chose to do. I knew that when i made the decision to be home schooled i gave up the chance to have a real graduation and participate in prom. I do have my reasons as to why i didn’t want to continue being in regular high school but i don’t really want to get into that right now.</p> <p>So i watch this show called Taking the Stage and i really enjoy it. That fact these kids are so talented and use that talent to their own advantage amazes me. I feel like i have soo many talents but i never pursued them so little by little i’m letting them go to waste. I guess the main thing that i like to do and i find myself always doing is writing. Writing takes me to a whole other place where i can just daydream and see things how i want to see it. Another thing i’ve always wanted to fully put my time into is photography. I feel like with on picture, no matter what it is, you can tell a million different stories. You can take a picture of something that looks one way to you but when you look at it in the picture it looks truly amazing, like something you would have never expected. </p> <p>I love to sing.. and i’ve always been into music ever since i was a child. I would always try to make up my own songs which weren’t really that good but hey i was little. I’ve always dreamed of playing the guitar and making my own music even if it was just for me but since we were struggling to make ends meet when i was growing up, i never got to take the proper lessons. I had a guitar, i just didn’t have anyone to teach me and i know that it shouldn’t be hard and that i can do it if i just believe in myself. i just sometimes look at other people and wish that it would just come to me naturally.  </p> <p>Some things do but other things don’t. I know that i could write my own songs and play my own music if i learned but i find that when i’m thinking about what song to write it never comes out the way i want it. When i’m listening to instrumentals of songs and i’m in a really good mood words just tend to come out and it sounds so good but when i go to write it down on paper i go completely blank and forgot what i was singing in the first place. </p> <p>I feel like God has given me soo much talent but right now i don’t know how to perfect it and i don’t know what to do with it. I just want to bring out the best in me. I sometimes feel like i’m not trying my hardest and i feel like i’m a huge disappointment to myself and i don’t ever want to feel that way about myself but i think there is a lack of motivation and i don’t know how to motivate myself…</p> <p>You know now that i think about it i’m amazed at how sometimes i write and it’s not that interesting and it sounds thought up but when i sit here and write about one little thing i’m thinking about, 5 million other emotions that i didn’t even know i had and thoughts that i wasn’t really thinking come to the surface. Sometimes i don’t even know why i feel a certain way but when i sit and write about it i see a deeper meaning to everything. I feel like my fingers and my mind, the part that is always day dreaming, does all the talking for me..</p> <p>Well i guess i better get to bed. It’s about to be twelve twenty and i have to wake up early tomorrow cause i have a busy day ahead of me and i need my rest. Night.</p> Kiki mami x3http://www.blogger.com/profile/09331275594376469709noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3340598225788899982.post-22367088213312818162009-04-16T13:22:00.001-07:002009-04-16T13:22:19.367-07:00Page temporarily underconstruction<p>until further notice</p> Kiki mami x3http://www.blogger.com/profile/09331275594376469709noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3340598225788899982.post-16366270900874537052009-04-12T21:46:00.001-07:002009-04-12T21:46:30.239-07:00Whatever comes to mind.<p>So i’m kinda thinking i’ll do a vlog soon just because i haven’t done one ever and what good is a webcam or camera when you don’t use it, right? Plus, i get lazy sometimes so doing a vlog every now and then would be great for when i don’t feel like typing. </p> <p>So happy Easter to probably only one person that happens to cross my blog which in reality is probably no one but ugh eventually i will have at least a few readers.. i hope. I kinda like the idea of someone commenting on my posts with their own personal opinions. I like hearing what people have to say, it’s interesting most of the time. </p> <p>I made up with my best friend. I didn’t think i would but we talked it out and resolved the issues. I guess i kinda blew it out of proportion.. well just a little bit but i was really pissed at the situation so i guess maybe i just wasn’t thinking. </p> <p>Things have really been going good with life lately. I still have some things that i don’t like about it but there will always be something that doesn’t really float your boat. These moments are probably the best i’ve had so far this year. We all kinda started new years off on the wrong foot so i’m glad that my whole year doesn’t have to be bad. </p> <p>Oh i forgot to write about this the other day but i finally checked my sugar to see if i had diabetes or not. Even though it isn’t certain if i’ll have it in the future or not i definitely know that i don’t have it now. I’m really glad too because that effing needle left a bruise on my poor finger! It still hurts.. when i checked my sugar it was 85. It may have been just a tiny bit low cause i think the normal is like 90-120 it’s still not bad. It’s like what 5 points off so i’m not stressing about it. </p> <p>I’m really mad at myself right now because i had at least one important thing that i wanted to say and i don’t remember.. damn.</p> <p>I watched Marley & Me yesterday and OH MY GOSH! That movie is the saddest movie in the history of forever. Marley was so effing cute [SPOILER] and to think that he died the end of the movie was so sad.. i cried so hard and i looked like such a fool. If my dog were to leave me any time soon i would die..</p> Kiki mami x3http://www.blogger.com/profile/09331275594376469709noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3340598225788899982.post-27550791157732646712009-04-11T23:55:00.000-07:002009-04-11T23:56:02.150-07:00Fuck you drama!<p>I’m just really pissed right now at the fact that H is acting like she never did anything wrong and she’s putting everything on me. I know i make mistakes sometimes i mean i’m only human but i think she’s way out of line. I’ve only been telling her how i felt and she’s basically trying to say that i’m bitter and i’m the one disrespecting her?! She says she valued our friendship but did she really? We never even talked, she never even knew what was going on in my life. I never knew what was going on in hers but it’s not because i didn’t want to know. I just don’t understand how you can consider someone a best friend and you only talk to them like 2 or 3 times a year, literally! That’s complete bull crap. Yeah i might not have an expensive ass cell phone like most people but it does receive calls! Don’t try and make it seem like my phone is the reason behind everything. Voicemails are there for a reason if you supposedly called me like you said you did you could have left one or even sent me a text. Maybe i have done something to hurt you or make you feel some type of way but at least i’ll own up to it. I won’t make it seem like you’re always wrong and i’m always right because that’s not always the case.</p> <p>The fact that my ex boyfriend is trying to talk to me again and the fact that i’m in a feud with a person i used to call my best friend is definitely not settling. I didn’t really want to argue or have a huge pointless conversation knowing that it wasn’t going to get anywhere. I just wanted to leave it the way it was and just move on. Pretty much what i did with the last friendship that went wrong. I let the person know how i felt and what was bothering me and i left it at that. I tried not to make a big deal of it cause it’s not that big of a deal to me. If you want to continue to life your life and you don’t want to talk to me or answer my calls well whatever i can take a hint and i move on. I’m not going to bitch about it because that’s just how life goes you win some you lose some. When i was going through bull shit i only had one of my friends there for me the whole time and it’s not because the other didn’t know. They just never really cared enough to be there for me when i needed them the most but i never sat there and cried about it. I let it go because i knew that they just weren’t the people i needed in my life. It’s a shame that not everyone can own up to their mistakes but i do. I’ve done a lot of dumb shit in the past whether it be because of a boy or just a dumb decision i’ve made, i can own up to it. I’ve realized the things that i’ve done wrong and i’ve changed my ways and those mistakes have made me the person i am today. </p> <p>I don’t know maybe i’m wrong for feeling the way i do but i’ve asked a few people if i have a right to feel the way that i do and the people i’ve asked have agreed with me so i just don’t know.</p> <p>I do know that i don’t really want to be this persons friend anymore because at this point in life i want the people that actually want to be in my life around me. I want people in my life that are actually with me through everything that i go through and vice versa. Our time is limited on this earth and i only want to be around people that i care for and that care for me the same and i know who those people are. I’m trying to work on my future and fulfilling my goals and i only need the people that are going to support me and pick me up when i fall, unfortunately she is not one of those people. </p> <p>Life goes on..</p> Kiki mami x3http://www.blogger.com/profile/09331275594376469709noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3340598225788899982.post-12750655050122160182009-04-11T00:11:00.001-07:002009-04-11T00:11:27.724-07:00Quick update.<p>I knew i had this weird feeling like if something random was going to happen and even though i didn’t pay attention to it something did happen. Funny how things happen, one minute you’re just minding your own business and the next thing you know your ex boyfriend from a long time ago instant messages you.</p> <p>To be continued…</p> Kiki mami x3http://www.blogger.com/profile/09331275594376469709noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3340598225788899982.post-46014144244337017992009-04-09T20:07:00.000-07:002009-04-09T20:10:53.809-07:00Take a deep breath.<p>Today, despite the fact that i don’t feel too good, has really been a peaceful relaxing day. The weather is beautiful and i feel at peace with myself. That isn’t to say that nothing is going on because something is always going to go on, that’s life. I just think that no matter what happens today i’m going to try my best not to get mad because that would just be a waste of day. It’s just so nice outside. I didn’t go anywhere but i did enjoy myself. </p> <p>I think the only thing that’s really on my mind is that fact that H is still talking crap. She says that she tries to call me but it always goes to voicemail and i know that’s a lie. The whole month of March i barely talked to anybody at all except for one person and that wasn’t even that often. I have even called her a few times because i have wanted to talk to her but she never answered my calls or called me back. I just feel like what is the point of trying to be somebody’s friend and wanting someone to be there for you when that person just doesn’t want to be. I mean i think it’s horrible to lose a friend but it’s obviously for the better because it seems like i lost her a long time ago. That’s not the type of person i want in my life anymore and i know that now. Maybe she just doesn’t get it but oh well.</p> <p>By the way! Yesterday wasn’t doomsday at all. It was really sweet! Even though my dad is an ass a lot of the time he still has his really sweet side and i think that he really does love my mom even though he doesn’t know how to show it. I still love my dad no matter what we go through and no matter what happens between us. We’re still a family.</p> <p>I love how her response to my comment was that she never received my calls. I probably called her like three times and she swears that she didn’t receive them and i don’t believe her. I’m not trying to make it seem like i’m fighting for her attention or i want her to talk to me everyday but how can you say that someone is your best friend when you don’t talk to that person for months at a time and they don’t make an effort to even email you or call you back. I think it’s stupid. I have already been through a friend like that before and i know how it is. I don’t need that stupidity around me and i don’t want it.</p> <p>People that don’t care about the friends they have and the friends that want to be there for them aren’t true friends at all so at the end of the day i don’t want to be friends with you anymore and my decision is final.</p> <p>I’m not going to let this ruin my night and i’m not going to make a big deal out of it, it just is what it is.</p> Kiki mami x3http://www.blogger.com/profile/09331275594376469709noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3340598225788899982.post-41793324436193630012009-04-07T17:53:00.001-07:002009-04-07T17:54:40.983-07:00Tomorrow is doomsday, at least i think it is.<p>Tomorrow is the day my mom gets married to my dad after eighteen long years. I’m not really excited about it because i don’t think he deserves her, better yet i know he doesn’t deserve her. I knew this day was important to my mom so i was helping her pick out something to wear and picking out something for my dad so he wouldn’t look like a complete idiot. Even though they are getting married through the court system it means something to her. My mom never got married so the fact that she is getting married means the world to her. But no, my dad being the big old selfish fugly ass hole that he is has to start getting angry and saying he doesn’t care because it’s not a big thing anyways. He wants to wear whatever the hell he wants to wear because this day to him is not important what so ever. He stated that he either dresses the way he wants to get married or they don’t get married at all. No one really knows how much i wanted to shove something down his throat so bad when he said that. Never in my life did i imagine that someone could be that selfish. He doesn’t even want me to take any pictures because he doesn’t feel like this moment is important enough to be captured in a photograph. </p> <p>Not only am i pissed at that but ex best friend, i’ll call her H for specific reasons, finally decides to ask me if i’m all right and if everything is alright in my house. Wtf! Now you want to ask me when you should pretty much know yourself anyways! Forget it i’d rather act like nothing is wrong. I won’t tell you anything at all because talking to you is like talking to a brick fucking wall.</p>Kiki mami x3http://www.blogger.com/profile/09331275594376469709noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3340598225788899982.post-3059508852142314932009-04-06T15:53:00.000-07:002009-04-06T15:54:12.166-07:00Wow.<p>This is probably going to be an extremely short post but i just have to let something out.</p> <blockquote> <p>To whom it may concern,</p> </blockquote> <blockquote> <p>I’m very surprised at the fact that you’d leave me a comment on Myspace saying hey i miss you. If you missed me so much you would take at least five minutes out of your “busy” schedule to just call me and say hi. The fact that you have time to call boys or call the party line just puzzles me. The only time you call me is to tell me something that might have happened or to ask me to go with you to meet this “guy” you have been talking to for a while. I honestly don’t want to meet this  person and i honestly don’t want to go with you. Why should i accompany you so that you can spend your time with him and leave me to spend time with myself. I could easily just go to the mall or to dinner by myself. If you really missed me and really were too busy to call you could have sent me a message on myspace two months ago. You knew that my brother was in the hospital and you knew that i was going through a lot but you couldn’t even call me to see if i was okay or to see how i was doing. I have known you for the longest and you have never been there for me when i needed you. I always made sure i was there if you ever needed me but i obviously am not a valued friend so i really don’t care wether you need me anymore or not. If you’re looking for me in the future know that i’m not someone you can count on anymore. You will probably never realize that you actually did something and i won’t call it to your attention because i feel like it isn’t worth it but if you ever ask me why i don’t talk to you i will let you know. I hope that life brings you joy and you succeed in whatever it is that you choose to do. Our friendship has diminished. You will probably never need me and you probably will never really miss me but you will realize that i was a good friend and you took me for granted.</p> <p>sincerely, Keyla</p> </blockquote> <p>That feels much better. I might elaborate on this whole little letter thing later if i feel like it.</p> Kiki mami x3http://www.blogger.com/profile/09331275594376469709noreply@blogger.com0