Thursday, April 9, 2009

Take a deep breath.

Today, despite the fact that i don’t feel too good, has really been a peaceful relaxing day. The weather is beautiful and i feel at peace with myself. That isn’t to say that nothing is going on because something is always going to go on, that’s life. I just think that no matter what happens today i’m going to try my best not to get mad because that would just be a waste of day. It’s just so nice outside. I didn’t go anywhere but i did enjoy myself.

I think the only thing that’s really on my mind is that fact that H is still talking crap. She says that she tries to call me but it always goes to voicemail and i know that’s a lie. The whole month of March i barely talked to anybody at all except for one person and that wasn’t even that often. I have even called her a few times because i have wanted to talk to her but she never answered my calls or called me back. I just feel like what is the point of trying to be somebody’s friend and wanting someone to be there for you when that person just doesn’t want to be. I mean i think it’s horrible to lose a friend but it’s obviously for the better because it seems like i lost her a long time ago. That’s not the type of person i want in my life anymore and i know that now. Maybe she just doesn’t get it but oh well.

By the way! Yesterday wasn’t doomsday at all. It was really sweet! Even though my dad is an ass a lot of the time he still has his really sweet side and i think that he really does love my mom even though he doesn’t know how to show it. I still love my dad no matter what we go through and no matter what happens between us. We’re still a family.

I love how her response to my comment was that she never received my calls. I probably called her like three times and she swears that she didn’t receive them and i don’t believe her. I’m not trying to make it seem like i’m fighting for her attention or i want her to talk to me everyday but how can you say that someone is your best friend when you don’t talk to that person for months at a time and they don’t make an effort to even email you or call you back. I think it’s stupid. I have already been through a friend like that before and i know how it is. I don’t need that stupidity around me and i don’t want it.

People that don’t care about the friends they have and the friends that want to be there for them aren’t true friends at all so at the end of the day i don’t want to be friends with you anymore and my decision is final.

I’m not going to let this ruin my night and i’m not going to make a big deal out of it, it just is what it is.

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