Just some randomness (untitled)

Okay so i’m having some kind of a problem, it’s nothing major but it is a problem to me. Actually it’s kind  of stupid when you think about it lol but whatever here it goes. So i used to date this guy.. (more like a little kid by the way he acted) Haha but anyways the beginning was nice and i thought i was in love. (key word thought) It didn’t last long because it didn’t take me long to realize that he was immature and that i definitely wasn’t in love with him at all. I think i was more in love with the idea of him, at that time i was going through so much and i though that having a boyfriend would make me feel better which was definitely the wrong thing. After that whole relationship was over i realized that i was settling for garbage when i deserved so much more. Now, i’m kind of afraid to get into another relationship like that, i just want so much more. So there are times when i’m talking to a guy or looking at one and i’m like eww that guy reminds me of *his name here* by the way he dresses or oh he reminds me of him cause of the way he talks or the way he looks. I don’t know why but i think that relationship was a nightmare and i guess maybe i’m still living in that nightmare or something lol. When i broke up with him i stopped talking to guys altogether. No, i didn’t turn into a lesbian but i realized that i wanted to take a huge break and i guess i’m still on it. It’s funny because i can talk to some guys and maybe we kinda click but when i talk to some other guys i just have nothing to say.I feel like i used to know how to keep a conversation with most guys but now i’m just kinda lost.. I think i’m just not trying to date guys that don’t fit my interest at all and right now i don’t want to be in a relationship. If i were to find someone that i truly click with then i just want to take it slow and really get to know the person this time and even though i have done that many times before i want it to be different.

By the way, the host of Tough Love.. i’m not sure what his name is but he’s hott on soo many different levels. His looks are hott, his personality is bomb, and the way he treats women is just perfect. He knows how to treat a lady and knows what it takes to be in a relationship from what i’ve seen. I don’t necessarily want a man like him but i want someone that knows those things and acts in a proper, respectful manner.