I’m just really pissed right now at the fact that H is acting like she never did anything wrong and she’s putting everything on me. I know i make mistakes sometimes i mean i’m only human but i think she’s way out of line. I’ve only been telling her how i felt and she’s basically trying to say that i’m bitter and i’m the one disrespecting her?! She says she valued our friendship but did she really? We never even talked, she never even knew what was going on in my life. I never knew what was going on in hers but it’s not because i didn’t want to know. I just don’t understand how you can consider someone a best friend and you only talk to them like 2 or 3 times a year, literally! That’s complete bull crap. Yeah i might not have an expensive ass cell phone like most people but it does receive calls! Don’t try and make it seem like my phone is the reason behind everything. Voicemails are there for a reason if you supposedly called me like you said you did you could have left one or even sent me a text. Maybe i have done something to hurt you or make you feel some type of way but at least i’ll own up to it. I won’t make it seem like you’re always wrong and i’m always right because that’s not always the case.
The fact that my ex boyfriend is trying to talk to me again and the fact that i’m in a feud with a person i used to call my best friend is definitely not settling. I didn’t really want to argue or have a huge pointless conversation knowing that it wasn’t going to get anywhere. I just wanted to leave it the way it was and just move on. Pretty much what i did with the last friendship that went wrong. I let the person know how i felt and what was bothering me and i left it at that. I tried not to make a big deal of it cause it’s not that big of a deal to me. If you want to continue to life your life and you don’t want to talk to me or answer my calls well whatever i can take a hint and i move on. I’m not going to bitch about it because that’s just how life goes you win some you lose some. When i was going through bull shit i only had one of my friends there for me the whole time and it’s not because the other didn’t know. They just never really cared enough to be there for me when i needed them the most but i never sat there and cried about it. I let it go because i knew that they just weren’t the people i needed in my life. It’s a shame that not everyone can own up to their mistakes but i do. I’ve done a lot of dumb shit in the past whether it be because of a boy or just a dumb decision i’ve made, i can own up to it. I’ve realized the things that i’ve done wrong and i’ve changed my ways and those mistakes have made me the person i am today.
I don’t know maybe i’m wrong for feeling the way i do but i’ve asked a few people if i have a right to feel the way that i do and the people i’ve asked have agreed with me so i just don’t know.
I do know that i don’t really want to be this persons friend anymore because at this point in life i want the people that actually want to be in my life around me. I want people in my life that are actually with me through everything that i go through and vice versa. Our time is limited on this earth and i only want to be around people that i care for and that care for me the same and i know who those people are. I’m trying to work on my future and fulfilling my goals and i only need the people that are going to support me and pick me up when i fall, unfortunately she is not one of those people.
Life goes on..