Whatever comes to mind.

So i’m kinda thinking i’ll do a vlog soon just because i haven’t done one ever and what good is a webcam or camera when you don’t use it, right? Plus, i get lazy sometimes so doing a vlog every now and then would be great for when i don’t feel like typing.

So happy Easter to probably only one person that happens to cross my blog which in reality is probably no one but ugh eventually i will have at least a few readers.. i hope. I kinda like the idea of someone commenting on my posts with their own personal opinions. I like hearing what people have to say, it’s interesting most of the time.

I made up with my best friend. I didn’t think i would but we talked it out and resolved the issues. I guess i kinda blew it out of proportion.. well just a little bit but i was really pissed at the situation so i guess maybe i just wasn’t thinking.

Things have really been going good with life lately. I still have some things that i don’t like about it but there will always be something that doesn’t really float your boat. These moments are probably the best i’ve had so far this year. We all kinda started new years off on the wrong foot so i’m glad that my whole year doesn’t have to be bad.

Oh i forgot to write about this the other day but i finally checked my sugar to see if i had diabetes or not. Even though it isn’t certain if i’ll have it in the future or not i definitely know that i don’t have it now. I’m really glad too because that effing needle left a bruise on my poor finger! It still hurts.. when i checked my sugar it was 85. It may have been just a tiny bit low cause i think the normal is like 90-120 it’s still not bad. It’s like what 5 points off so i’m not stressing about it.

I’m really mad at myself right now because i had at least one important thing that i wanted to say and i don’t remember.. damn.

I watched Marley & Me yesterday and OH MY GOSH! That movie is the saddest movie in the history of forever. Marley was so effing cute [SPOILER] and to think that he died the end of the movie was so sad.. i cried so hard and i looked like such a fool. If my dog were to leave me any time soon i would die..

Quick update.

I knew i had this weird feeling like if something random was going to happen and even though i didn’t pay attention to it something did happen. Funny how things happen, one minute you’re just minding your own business and the next thing you know your ex boyfriend from a long time ago instant messages you.

To be continued…

On hold.

Being 17 really sucks if you don’t have a job. Unfortunately i have to put my life on hold because apparently other peoples problems are more important right now so there is no time for me to go out looking for a job. I’ve been 17 for more than a month and i still haven’t been able to go get my permit. I guess the key to it all is that i have to make my own time. If no one will accompany me i’ll just have to go out and get it for myself. Well the permit part might have to wait because i have to have a parent with me ..ugh. Stupid rules and laws in America.

Job should really be my main priority though but i hold myself back. I think i’m a little scared because i’ve never had a job before but it shouldn’t matter. I know that after i spend my first day at a job it’ll be like nothing. I worry too much about how things will be and what will happen instead of just letting whatever needs to happen happen. Getting a job right now just might be the most amazing thing that could happen to me right NOW. The pros of having a job:

-money

-freedom

-meet new people

-money

Haha, i said money twice but that’s probably the best part about having a job. I could buy myself whatever the hell i want and i’d love it. Plus having more money is the key to having freedom because where the hell can you go with no money AND no car? Yeh, no very far! The only thing is that i do not i repeat do NOT want to work at a fast food joint. I know that i’m not cut out for it. Not cause i’m not a people person but because you have to be really fast paced at it and i would get really screwed up. I’d rather work at a clothing store or something. You don’t really have to deal with people too much and you don’t have to be cramped in a really small space like fast food restaurants. But first before i even think about having a job i need to get my effing physical. Trying to make an appointment to get my physical will be more like a mission! Stupid doctor’s office is never open when i need it to be open and i hate that damn doctor wtf.

Ugh, but that’s a completely different story!

I wanted to do a survey but i didn’t want to put it on myspace..

so here it is.

How many people have you had feelings for in 2009?
-Officially i’ve feelings for zero people since this year has started up until now.
What were you doing right before you logged into Myspace?
-Googling pictures of Rob Pattinson lol i’m guilty!
Honestly, who are all of the texts in your phone from?
-I don’t really text that much anymore so probably no one. Kady sometimes though.
Honestly, how many people have you completely fallen for?
-Hmmm, fallen in love? None.
Honestly, what is the color shirt you're wearing right now?
-A gray shirt with mickey and pluto on it. I wear this to go night night sometimes.
Honestly, what's on your mind?
-I wish i had someone to talk to right now or someone that liked me for me.
Honestly, did you watch Shot of Love with Tila Tequila?
-Some of the first season and then i was over it.. it sucked.
Honestly, what makes you happy?
-The simple life. Having the people i want around me, living my life one step at a time and not having to worry about problems that shouldn’t even exist.
Honestly, what are you sick of? 
-Honestly, i’m sick of not being appreciated and taken for granted. People don’t really think much of me and i’m sick of it. 
Honestly, what do you want right now? 
-Someone to talk to that’s pretty much it. 
Honestly, have you ever made anyone cry?
-I think my mom once but not on purpose, other than that not anyone i know of.
If you could go back 3 months and change something would you? 
-Nope, i think that whatever has happened needed to happened. I definitely needed to realize some things first hand. 
Is there anyone who doesn't like you? 
-There are a lot of people that don’t like me for reasons i may never know. 
Do you miss anyone? 
-I can’t really say that i do. People that aren’t in my life now were left in the past because they just weren’t supposed to be in my life now and i strongly believe that. 
Do you think that you're a good person? 
-I mean i definitely have my flaws but i know that i’m a good person it’s up to other people to decide if they want to get to know the good person in me. 
Have you ever dated a soccer player?
-Wow that’s very random but no i haven’t.
Are you listening to music right now? 
-Yeah i actually am. The Ting Tings! 
When you say you don't care, do you mean it? 
-Most of the time but there are times i try to make myself believe i don’t when i do. 
What’s your favorite brand of jeans?
-Umm, probably Angel’s.
What were you doing at 8 am this morning? 
-I wasn’t up yet. 
Do you like pancakes? 
-Once in a while i can’t eat them all the time. 
Have you told anybody you love them today?
-Besides family, no.
Do you like surprises?
-It depends on what that surprise is but if it’s good i’m definitely okay wit it.
What about the pants you are wearing? 
-I can’t sleep in pants so none. 
Last time you laughed so hard you cried? 
-It’s been a while. I really don’t know. 
Do you think you will make a good wife/husband? 
-I do think that i’m going to be a good wife. I feel like that’s my main purpose in life and that nothing really matters as much as getting married does although everything else is still important. 
Is it easy for someone to make you smile/laugh? 
-It’s extremely easy to make me smile as long as what you’re saying is honest and sincere. 
What was the last thing you drank? 
-Water.
Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you? 
-Not really, let me know when you come across someone with a February 29th birthday. 
Who texted you last?
-I’m actually not even sure. The person never told me who they were.
Who called you last? 
-Kady.
Who hugged you last? 
-No one really hugged me today so therefore i’m not sure when the last time was that i got hugged or who the hug was from. 
Who was the last person with their arms around you? 
-My mom i think.. i don’t even know. 
Do you have a crazy aunt?
-My dad has a crazy sister, she’s supposedly my aunt but i don’t recognize her as such cause she’s never been in my life.. pretty much like the rest of his family.
What were you doing at 12AM? 
-Yesterday? Umm, probably just talking to a few people. 
Do you have any tattoos or piercings? 
-No but i do want to get another piercing in my ear. 
How is your hair? 
-It’s a mess right now and it will remain a mess until tomorrow. 
Have you ever met some one who is incredible?
-Pshhh i wouldn’t think so.
What’s bugging you right now?
-Still not having anyone to talk to.

Officially official.

Yeah that title blows but whatever i couldn't think of anything yet again. Oh well, anywho i'm just sitting here not really doing too much except for thinking. I was testing out my webcam and i was looking at myself in it and i was soo disgusted! Idk i know they say that you are your toughest critic but damn. I just have these days sometimes where i don't like myself.. am i the only one?

This morning was horrible ..my dad decided he wanted to start his bullshit again with my mom. I said a couple things but i really didn't get into it because i figured what happened had nothing to do with me so i just basically kept my mouth shut. It really pisses me off though when he acts the way he does. Always trying to insult people when no one does anything wrong to him. I mean after that huge ass arguement me and him had when my brother was in the hospital i tried to help him out, be there for him and all in all just be a better person but he still wasn't putting in his part. He would argue and rush me to prick his damn finger then would get mad when his sugar was high because he wouldn't listen to me so i stopped doing everything for him and my mom was forced to take over because he won't do it himself and he did the same thing to her that he did to me. I still find it unbelievable. Idk why he can't just be nice to people ..it isn't that hard at all. He really needs to learn.

hmm, well i guess i don't really know what else to write. Nothing really exciting or funny happened except for the fact that my mom was snapping on everyone cause she was still pissed off at what happened with my dad lol.

lmfao! Omg i was watching speeders and they were showing a cup searching this guy and his pants were hanging low so the cop was feeling what he thought was the bottom of his stomach and he was like what's this? Dude was like "that's my penis" !! Sorry that was just too hilarious it was all ..small. LOL! okay i'm gonna stop.

Till next time..